What is a GODLY Wife? Proverbs 31 gives us a beautiful portrait of a GODly Wife. The Holy Scriptures share with us the roles of the Husband and the Wife. With this information available to us, why do some of us still struggle with “Submission” and knowing and fulfilling our Wifely roles?
***Warning*** This is going to be a lengthy post. Get you a healthy snack and enjoy! Say Amen if it finds you where you are. Repent if you need to. Cry, scream, shout and let it all out! Deliverance is waiting for you down below if you can see yourself in it and own up to it. This is not for everyone but for those that it is for, just say, “That’s me oh LORD, Amen”!!! Shout out to you if you are a GODLY Wife, May GOD Bless you and keep you!
My GODLY Wife Short Sory…
Most little girls often dream of getting Married one day to their prince charming and having all his babies. As we get older, we look to every boy that we hook up with to be that prince charming that will ask us for our hand in Marriage, not really knowing what being Married really is all about. Some even covet after the idea of being Married or someone else’s marriage which is sin. I sometimes wonder if we had a real biblical example in our lives of what being Married really is like and how much of ourselves has to die, would we still desire and pursue it? You hear so many single women say, ” Chile I need me a Husband”, or “I’m waiting on my Husband”, or “I need me a good man who will Marry me and take care of my kids”. Do you really want a Husband or are you just looking for security, the image of Marriage just to say you are Married, or a baby daddy for your kids. Are you looking for what you think others have? You are on the outside looking in and you think it’s all peaches and cream when most times it’s not. You only see what people want you to see. You should want to get Married because you are called to and because it’s the Will of GOD! If it’s not your calling then I would surely advise that you don’t, if you can keep yourself from fornicating because it is a life long Ministry within itself and it’s not for everybody. Just KeepN It Real! But if you can’t, then it’s better to marry than burn, right! 1 Corinthians 7v9.
I once was there too! I wanted to be Married and all that cutesy but had no idea of what that was. I had no true example of what it’s supposed to look like or what my role as a Wife and his role as a Husband was. I just wanted to stop living in sin and be in GOD’S Perfect Will for my life and do it right and HIS way for the first time in my life. I’ve been Married to my now Husband for over six years. My Husband and I did do it GOD’S way, by letting GOD choose and by not having sex before we said I do. Majority of those six years I struggled hard with that word that the women of our day and time hate. Yes, you guessed it, “Submit, Submission, Submissive“! Those words are such ugly words to those who think it’s all about male domination, especially those in the feminists error/movement that we see continually growing.
I took my poor Husband through it y’all when it came to being “submissive”. Read Ephesians 5v22-24. I fought him every way possible with my smart mouth. I had something to say about everything. Meek and quiet nothing, I had something to say! 🙂 Peter 3. Nothing was right unless I did it. I was controlling! I was defensive! I was dominating! I was manipulative! I was smart mouthed! I was selfish! I was spoiled! I was just a hot mess! I’m sure my Dear Husband would have much more to add to this list but I’m just going to leave it there for right now, I think I’ve said enough and I’m sure you get the picture. I didn’t start off this way with my Husband because y’all know how it is in the beginning, everybody being all super excited, innocent and nice. Until…He started to raise his Head (In a good way). But I would have you know, the head of every man is CHRIST; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of CHRIST is GOD. 1 Corinthians 11v3.
It was like I went into shock or something. My spirit was willing but my flesh was so weak y’all. I had some serious wars going on between my flesh and my spirit and my flesh would oftentimes win. Matthew 24v41. As long as things were going completely my way, then I could get with the program. This is where the struggle for me got Oh So Real! He started doing way toooo much like, being a Real Man, being the Head as GOD has designed him to be and being a Watchmen and watching for my soul. I mean, “who did he think he was”? Umm… GOD’S Man and my Husband… duh! I just couldn’t let him lead because I was used to doing it. I was used to being in control. I had to be in everything. I’ve been independent since I was fifteen years of age. I didn’t have to answer to anybody. I didn’t like anybody telling me nothing. I was used to making all the decisions and doing what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. Even in my other so-called relationships it was either my way or the highway, I know some of you ladies out there can relate to what I’m saying, especially if you are a brown skinned sister because this is where you typically see this alot in our culture with the women not being taught how to be women, how to treat a man and not seeing the father and mother together in the home in a Healthy Marriage like GOD always intended for it to be. And don’t be a single mom with an absentee dad, we become both even though we can never compensate for the lack of the man not being around but we try. I had to take on this role for so many years and it contributed to the emotional damage that was already there from the absence of my dad and loosing my mom as a preteen. I grew a distaste for men unconsciously and everything that a man represented deep down on the inside and even GOD to a certain degree but that’s another story for a later time. I know it sounds crazy but it’s the truth! It’s a wonder that I didn’t turn to women with what was really going on inside me, but GOD!
Don’t get me wrong, my Husband has been being “That Man” from the time we first met but I wasn’t used to a man being a full-time man in my life. I could handle the part-time but the full-time was something entirely different. This woke up the serious man issues and the struggles within me that I had accumulated from the absence of the most important full-time man in my life as a young girl growing up, my dad. Also, from the many broken relationships that I allowed myself to get in over and over again because of my reckless decisions. I had become very cold toward men in general and built a strong wall of defense to protect myself from further hurt and pain. I became numb!
My flesh was being challenged like never before and it was so annoying! I would often say to GOD, ” I can’t do this, it’s just too much. FATHER, why did you even allow me to get Married and I wasn’t even read. Maybe we got it wrong”! These thoughts would go through my mind because I couldn’t understand the journey and the process that GOD had me on. I knew that GOD ordained for us to be together and how HE just orchestrated it from the beginning and that my Husband was indeed my Husband. (I will share that story later as I’m permitted to because it’s a peculiar story, very different than most and All GOD)!
I found myself in a chair alot. My Husband would share/counsel me (he’s a big communicator and I was used to holding everything in until it was time for me to explode) about what was going on within me especially as GOD began to show and tell him more and more about me. HE did give my Husband a heads up about me prior to us getting Married but he got more details as we were becoming one. I didn’t want to deal with my stuff and I definitely didn’t want to keep hearing about it. GOD was using him to get to the root of those things and to help me get Deliverance and Healing in those areas which would eventually lead to my Freedom.
I questioned GOD as to why he would send me my Husband while I was still broken and messed up. In an ideal situation both the man and woman should understand their roles in the Marriage/partnership and be healed from their past hurts/pains and issues. A different route was chosen for me by the Will of GOD because he knew my Husband would be the Strong Man who could help me and handle all that I put him through…poor Man…sigh. No other man could do it or handle me but the Man GOD had for me! Now I understand the journey and process and why HE allowed it to happen this way because of The Testimonies that would come out of it and the Ministry…All for the Glory of GOD!!
My Husband was and is extremely loving, calm, encouraging, fair, gentle, kind, patient, protective, respectful, understanding and is always honoring me. He listens to me whenever I have something to say. I often would cry out to GOD and my Husband about how Good of a Man HE loaned me and I was so disgusted with myself at how I was not Honoring and Respecting him like he deserved and like I am told to do by GOD because I was so locked in. He never used his authority in a domineering way like some men do. He has always treated me and loved me as his Queen. I know these last past years has been some difficult times for him emotionally but he stood still and continued to pray for and with me because he Loves me like CHRIST told him to love me like CHRIST Loves the Church and like he loves his own body and because of purpose! Ephesians 5v25-33.
No man has ever loved me like this and that’s why I didn’t know what to do with it or how to respond to it. He loves me Unconditionally! He is the Conduit of GOD’S Love for me. He is the Expression of how GOD feels about me! I Love him so much! I want to be just like him when I grow up. 🙂 Writing this is bringing tears to my eyes and I’m truly sorrowful that my Husband had to go through that with me because he deserves so much more but GOD knew that in spite of my short comings, I was just what the Great Doctor ordered and vice versa. Just like GOD used my Husband to help me, GOD also used me to help my Husband in some areas. We have added to each other’s life and we are the perfect fit/pair and I wouldn’t have it any other way. GOD knows very well what HE is doing! If only we would just let HIM!
I have come a long ways. We have come a long ways. I’m not just saying that either. My Husband will tell you the same. First GOD had to show me myself, then I had to see myself by acknowledging what I saw, then I had to repent which I had to do alot of. I had to see the need to change and have the desire to change. I had to see the Bigger Picture, It’s Not About Me! I had to Trust GOD’S Will because if HE hand picked this Man for me, I can rest in HIM because HE chose him for me. I also had to trust the GOD in my Husband to lead me and I had to learn and understand our different roles GOD’S way. My Husband makes it super easy for me to want to submit. My Husband is always mindful of me and treats me with the upmost respect. He listens to me and values what I have to say. He trust GOD in me as well. He understands that i belong to GOD first and he has a charge to keep. He treats me like the daughter of The MOST HIGH! He protects me from any and everybody including myself. It was just my flesh and my issues that held me back and wouldn’t allow me to give all of myself. If you could be a fly on the wall in our lives, you would be like, what’s wrong with this woman, who wouldn’t want to be under the leadership of a Great Strong Man of GOD like this, she straight tripping, I’ll take him! 🙂 🙂 🙂
NaTasha surely has a Great Strong Man of GOD at home and he’s not perfect but he’s definitely a keeper!
GOD shares with us in HIS Holy Word how we ought to behave ourselves and if it’s not pleasing to GOD, then I want no parts in it. I thank GOD for Loving me so much that HE was willing to be patient with me and HE knew that I desired to be the woman HE created me to be. HE knew what it would take to help get me there too. HE is an Awesome FATHER and is continually teaching me how to become a GODLY Wife after HIS own Heart!
I have much more to say to you but time is limited and so am I. Until next time, may the Grace of GOD keep you and yours and I bid you farewell with a Heavenly Kiss. 😚
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